June 2015

256 286

HEALTH&FITNESS
256 June15
SINGLE AND LONELY –
FLORENCE (41), DUTCH
THE SCENARIO:
Florence was excited by the opportunity
to head up the Singapore branch of the
shipping company she works for. But
she’s finding it hard, despite her best
efforts. As the only woman at the office,
and the boss at that, she is surrounded
by men who hardly bother to pass
the time of day with her. Outside of
work, she is finding it difficult to make
friends, partly because her English
is not very fluent. She finds herself
unexpectedly bursting into tears at odd
moments, spending the weekends at
home watching television TV in her
condo and Skypeing her old friends in
the wee hours of the morning.
THE PSYCHOLOGIST:
DR SHRIMATHI SWAMINATHAN runs
her practice, Psynaptica, at Body with
Soul Total Healthcare Network. As a
clinical psychologist who often helps
people who are under stress from
multiple changes happening all at once
– divorce, change of job, relocation and
so on – here’s her advice for someone
in Florence’s position.
THE QUESTIONS:
Florence chose to move. Why,
then, is she unhappy?
It is not uncommon for a new job to
cause stress, even though it’s what
we want. Even if stressors are limited
to one area of life, the problems spill
over into other areas too. Problems or
challenges at work can make a person
angry, intolerant or withdrawn socially or
at home, while problems at home can
affect concentration, problem-solving
and resilience at the workplace.
Is she depressed?
Florence certainly sounds like she could
be depressed; and, perhaps due to low
self-esteem or anxiety about her worth
and capabilities, her efforts to connect
are probably not effective at this time.
If Florence can be helped to break the
cycle of negative thoughts and feelings
and ineffective coping behaviours,
Body With Soul
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she can slowly begin to take charge of
her life and her wellbeing and begin a
positive cycle of experiences.
What should she do?
There are many things Florence
could try. Different things work for
different people. She could start by
consulting a psychologist, who will
help her articulate her problems, change
negative thinking habits and enhance
positive feelings and behaviours.
Physicalexercise is an important way
to relieve stress, enhance positive mood
and regulate sleep. If Florence doesn’t
feel like doing any exercise, she could
motivate and reward herself for short
workouts – perhaps at the condo pool
or gym, or in a fitness group. She could
even just switch on music and dance!
Social interactions are as important
to our wellbeing as nutrition and
exercise. Late-night Skypeing is messing
up her sleep cycle, and is less rewarding
than actual social interaction.
I’d suggest she explore an interest
or hobby through a class or activity
group. This brings many benefits, from
the pleasure and pride in learning
something new to the fulfilment of
meeting likeminded people. In fact,
Florence should consider taking up
English classes: language classes are
often fun and bring together people
from diverse cultures and backgrounds.
Keeping ajournal of her thoughts and
feelings would help pinpoint negative
thoughts with a view to challenging and
changing them. What’s more, writing can
be therapeutic in itself, allowing us to
articulate our experiences just like talking
to a friend would. Also, this material can
be extremely useful for therapy sessions.
Could medication help Florence?
If her depressed mood and poor sleep
patterns continue, she could talk to her
general practitioner or a psychiatrist, who
might prescribe medication. Medicines
do not teach new behaviours or skills,
but they can be useful to provide quick
relief, boost energy and mood to enable
her to do the necessary psychological
work. Furthermore, her doctor would be
able to check for hormonal imbalances
or nutritional deficiencies that may
be contributing to her low mood and
irregular emotions.
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